JANE.

I love lists. List of the best, or even better, the worst. The worst songs, the worst booktitles and quite possibly the worst blogs. But I DO aim to stay reasonably highbrow, atleast for the first 99 posts. When I turn the mark at a hundred, and there are still noone reading, I'm sure I will, in my desperate state turn to reviewing Twilight movies. But I thought as my first list I should make something that might get people reading, while showing them that I am an intellectual and very highbrow person, who only occasional has washed her hair using fairy liquid. So withour further ad here it is:

My 3 favourite Jane Austen books. And not to cheat you of the worst, my three least favourite.(With some cheating).

Number 3: Mansfield park: 

This is a book famous for peoples dislike of it's main character, Fanny, who most people today would describe as a PollyAnna, a goody-two-shoes , or just dull and gray. But I don't think she is any of those things, what she is is someone who will not compromise her morals for anyone. She is convinced of what is right and wrong and stands her ground even when the others stray. She is not happy about a play her cousins are putting up in the house to pass time and have fun, and the modern reader will most likely read her as an overzealous fanatic. But the play is very risque and just having a play was seen as bordering on immorality. It's no secret that actresses were only considered in slitly better standing than prostitutes,. The young men and women acting out a play so erotically charged were bound to break the convention of male and female interaction. In the end fanny get's her guy, not through coqueertter, not through being someone else. But on being good, and righteous.

Number 2: Pride and Predujice:

While many may scream in abject horror over me not choosing this for my number 1 spot, while I do love this book, I may not love it enough to grant it the number one spot. I do love Elizabeth Bennet, and Mr. Darcy, but I am afraid that I have succumbed to much of the predujice that the book is so strongly against. He is just too annoying at first and too self-absorbed. I am not one to critisize the great romantic hero of our day, but I do not like many of the characters as well as I ought. The desription of the middle sister Mary, as a foolish , plain girl who thinks herself more clever than she is, doesn't really sit well with me(for perhaps obvious reasons). And Elizabeth Bennett is just too confident to make me really identify with her. I'm neurotic, insecure, and have a low sense of self-worth , Elizabeth is prudent, secure and knows her mind.This is not the fault of the book but just my own weakness.

Number 1: Sense and sensibility

I love this book. I can easily identify with both sisters, and it's nice to read about someone who has atleast SOME adversity. And the romance between Elino and Edward strikes me as more real than with Darcy and Elizabeth. Edward is shy, reserved and decidedly NOT the dashing hero, OR the antagonist come loveinterest. It's just nice to see a nice normal guy, though morally upright, act, not like a spoiled child or an obnoxious tease but as a real human being. I also love that Marianne winds up withe the gentle and loving colonel instead of the pompous, annoying, spineless idiot that is Willoghby. For much of the novel Marianne is the typical teenager, but she learns that love is NOT just wailing out shakespeare as a bleating goat -

How to treat danes.

We in Denmark are lovely people, once you get to know us. So get to know us by this subjective and probably useless list of do's and don'ts when dealing with danes.

a) We are very nice and polite people so people who are nice and polite always score points with Danes. 

BUT you cannot be too nice or TOO polite. If there's something we can't stand it's FAKERY. No hugging or kissing people you don't know, no displays of emotions that aren't real. Nothing is more annoying. Don't yell "Oh how nice to see you" "Or "You have a lovely day" if you are just saying it for something to say.

b) Don't brag.

 In Denmark we think that all people are of equal value NO MATTER how pretty, rich or succesful they are. That is also my opinion. So thinking that we should treat you with more respect because you make money will make us despise you. DO NOT ask us how much money we make, because that will paint you as a douchebag who cares only for status and greed. It is never okay to praise yourself or put yourself higher than anyone else. We do appreciate people who word hard or are creative, but we don't think you have earned one iota more respect that ANYONE else. So if you think you're better than a drunk on the street do not come here.

c) Don't compare us unfavourably to your own country. 

That goes double for americans. In denmark w basically think that the american system is...not...good. I realize that YOU think the US is wonderful And it is in many ways. I don't like it but I wouldn't say that in USA, I would find the good things and praise the shit out of them. You are allowed to critisize danish society all you want, but do it as a dane not as someone longing for another system.

d) Don't be offended too easily.

 In denmark we can sometimes use the word "negro"to describe someone. We don't have a history of civil unrest or discrimination like america or other countries.(Though we are discrimating against immigrants and their kids). Does that mean you should accept being called something you dislike? NO. But explain WHY you don't like the word and we will fall in line. We just do not have the same relationship with words that you do. Same with the word "fuck". We use it all the time and to us it is no big deal. Also do not assume that because we're standoffish or won't talk to you on the bus that we're xenophobics. We do not talk to each other on public tranportation and anyone attemptimg to do so will be stamped as a nutter.

e) Compliment us.

We're a small country so we're used to fighting for attention. If you compliment anything about our country we will love you forever. But here is the catc: YOU HAVE TO MEAN IT! Remember a? We can't stand fakeness. So only be nice if you are nice.

to be continued...

Mental illness.

I have OCD an avoidant personaliy disorder AND depression and a lot o' undiagnosed thingies methinks. "But how", I hear you ask "should I, as a normal wonderful person treat a fragile creature such as you?"
Well here are some basic do's and don'ts when dealing with mentally ille people....Well seeing as I can't speak for all mentally ill people I guess this list is just for me...Which brings me to point number one

Do NOT... Treat us like we're all the same. There are almost as many diagnoses in mental illnes as there ar in physical illness. Adding to that we're just people. Some of us are nice, some of us are douchebags. But we are not all the same. Imagine if you would, someone  complaining that he is sick. Do you just accept that or do you ask him WHAT disease he suffers from? Does he have a debillatating lung disease, or a cold? Pretty important to know isn't it? Some diagnoses are so far apart that they are actually describing complete and utter opposites.

Do NOT...Treat us any differently to "normal" people. Nothing is more annoying than being treated like a child. even children hate it. And mentally ill people are the same. Don't give us special treatment or avoid topics, just because we're there. It's offensive and hurtful to treat us like that. We are normal people and we may be different in some ways but NOTHING will make us retreat more easily that being treated as a fragile child. This is again just my opinion, some people with mental illness may disagree, but at the very least ask us before you assume that we're to be treated like 5 year olds.

Do NOT...Give us advice. This is a no-brainer. If you were looking for help for an undiagnosed cough would you see a phycisian or ask your 22 year old cousin? We don't need or appreciate your advice regarding our illness. You don't know anything about it. Thats nothing to be ashamed of, I don't know how to diagnose diabetes, that's not my area of expertise. And don't think that just because you know how to handle things that the mentally ill person doesn't that makes you an expert. To bring it back to physical illness, that would be like me giving out good advice about how NOT to have asthma.

To be continued....

Things that annoy me while sitting in a bus.

1. When you chew gum.

2. When you chew gum with your mouth open.

3. When you are sucking on some sort of candy.

4. When you are singing. I don't care if you are good, it's still blood curdling.

5. When you kiss. Look I know that you think that people will find it cute and maybe even hot. But the fact is that it isn't. It's awful. Listening to two peple sucking and licking and moving their various mouth organs is yucky. 

6. When you speak loudly about how drunk you were last night.

7- When you describe sexual exploits. Same as the kissing, if you're not doing it it's yucky. And if you're 15 please realize that to a 30 yo woman it's like listening to a child. And that is yucky.

8. When you loudly descibe the hot girls you like. I'm sorry but I don't like women and I don't like you talking about them as pieces of meat.

9. When you are screeching loudly with your 14 year old girlfriends. You sound like idiots, and you are annoying.

I just received communication from lili, she claims to be a robot from the year 3453, and seeing as she contacted me in a most horrifying way, I think I belive her.